January 2018 Meeting: Real American by Julie Lythcott-Haims
In the last scene of Julie Lythcott-Haims' memoir, Real American, Julie describes being a young girl, out with her mother, when she sees another young girl her age. Without even thinking Julie run towards the girl, yelling “Friend!” Now the young girl she’s running toward is white, which shouldn’t mean anything. But in the context of her book and this country, where what we are often matters more than who we are, this particular moment means something it shouldn’t. It means that there’s a good chance Julie’s instinctual response to see a girl her age and think “friend” can be rebuffed for no other reason besides the fact that Julie is black. Fortunately for Julie, and the girl she run towards, this is not the case. The white girl’s mother allows the moment to happen—and while it could all be that simple, what can sometimes make life unbearable is it rarely ever is. Many times it’s because of things outside of our control. But what about those moments when the decision we can make for ourselves are within the bounds of our control and we still choose to fuck up? The dopest thing about this meeting, and Julie in particular, is her ability to speak to those moments unapologetically. Speaking for myself, it’s hard to face those moments because I learn things about myself I thought I already knew, or wish I didn’t. Those are humbling moments for me, and it lets me know, like Julie’s book, that you really won’t find beauty in your life until you can face the ugliest parts without flinching.
